The god of Sunday
Think you don’t know this god? I’ll bet you do.
It all begins with the guilt of going to church – whether from your Mom, older sister, or your own conscience. If successful, that guilt leads you to a pew – or for the nontraditional, a nicely padded chair.
But to get to that sweet place, this god requires beautifully dressed and well-behaved children and adults with smiles plastered on their faces. The fights, overdue bills, and depression get left behind in the car for the next 2 hours.
The god of Sunday enjoys prayers that must be formulated – those read from a hymnal, are super long, or made up of prayer requests are perfect. Prayer requests that include other people’s “dirty laundry” are expected. Prayers for healing are limited to the person’s name, their ailment, and a request to be healed – actually, begging for healing is highly encouraged. Prayers are never to be said by anyone but the experts while inside the church.
Sunday music can only be hymns or contemporary or nothing at all. The god of Sunday can NOT handle a mixture of different types of music and it MUST only be played within a predetermined time limit.
Beware that immodest dress (ie: shorts, t-shirts, skirts above the knee, spaghetti straps, etc.), unusual piercings, brightly colored hair, and tattoos are forbidden by this god! Exception to the rule – hidden tattoos. Actually, anything that’s hidden is always allowed, even if the pastor preaches otherwise. Remember – the god of Sunday overrules all preachers.
The god of Sunday prefers that the Bible itself, never be read. When there is an interest in it, this god is able to confound it’s meaning or even make it impossible to read. However, other Christian books are highly preferred – especially the self help ones. Books that quote Scripture are fine too, since that will make people feel like they’re getting a good intake of the Bible.
The god of Sunday works best outside the church doors. In the real world it is foolish to believe in anything other than what goes on in the world around you and what makes sense to you. This god makes it easy to believe that miracles and supernatural events in the Bible are exaggerations and in no way can happen to you. Which is very nice, because it would be extremely uncomfortable to think that someone could heal their neighbor who has cancer. Believing that an addiction can be removed immediately is just plain ridiculous! The god of Sunday loves “ridiculous!”
The god of Sunday cannot be heard, gets people sick in order to teach them lessons, makes people pay for the things they do wrong, and never, ever lets people love or forgive themselves.
Extreme humility, a poverty mindset, constant troubles (especially the same ones over and over again), victim mentality, anger, and the need to be right plague the followers of the god of Sunday.
The god of Sunday exalts itself by making people believe he is the One True God.
