God’s Wrath Came to My Rescue
A sledge hammer slammed into my gut.
After the usual morning ritual of coffee, trivia, and laughter with my good friends at work, I went to check my email. The first one that caught my attention was titled “Feedback” from my boss. A long, comprehensive description of my wrong-doings, composed by coworkers, glared at me from the computer screen. Hate, disrespect, and reproach all took turns swinging that sledge hammer. A tidal wave of hurt, anger, and confusion pounded over me as I forced myself to keep reading. Those dreaded tears, that I abhor at work, could not be held back. The email was neatly finished with, “When you’re done reading this, come to my office.”
A momentary thought of clarity came to mind, “I can’t let him see me like this. I need to calm down.”
In trying to still the beating in my chest, I began typing up a response. My mind raced as words and paragraphs were written, rewritten, and deleted. Trying to suppress all emotion in my response was impossible while being completely unsettled. Although I needed to reference that horrendous document, I couldn’t bring myself to read it again. I kept crying out to God, but the battle raged on.
Finally stepping away from my desk, I longingly looked at the back door. I went to a secluded place in the office instead. After locking the door, I fell to my hands and knees. “I FORGIVE! I FORGIVE THEM ALL! THANK YOU GOD FOR BEING SO MUCH BIGGER THAN THIS MESS! I LOVE YOU!” Taking a deep breath, peace began to wrap around me.
Then “Psalm 18” popped into my mind. Not being familiar with it, I quickly looked it up. The first words described exactly how I felt!
“I love You, O Lord, my strength.”
The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge;
My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised,
And I am saved from my enemies.
The cords of death encompassed me,
And the torrents of ungodliness terrified me.
The cords of Sheol surrounded me;
The snares of death confronted me.
In my distress I called upon the Lord,
And cried to my God for help;
He heard my voice out of His temple,
And my cry for help before Him came into His ears.
Welcome tears of hope filled my eyes as I read…
Then the earth shook and quaked;
And the foundations of the mountains were trembling
And were shaken, because He was angry.
Smoke went up out of His nostrils,
And fire from His mouth devoured;
Coals were kindled by it.
He bowed the heavens also, and came down
With thick darkness under His feet.
He rode upon a cherub and flew;
And He sped upon the wings of the wind.
He made darkness His hiding place, His canopy around Him,
Darkness of waters, thick clouds of the skies.
From the brightness before Him passed His thick clouds,
Hailstones and coals of fire.
Words describing my Daddy’s rage of storming down through the heavens in answer to my cries for help were so comforting!
The Lord also thundered in the heavens,
And the Most High uttered His voice,
Hailstones and coals of fire.
He sent out His arrows, and scattered them,
And lightning flashes in abundance, and routed them.
Then the channels of water appeared,
And the foundations of the world were laid bare
At Your rebuke, O Lord,
At the blast of the breath of Your nostrils.
It was so much to take in! To think that God bent the heavens to get to me right when my first tear fell, was mind boggling. To know that injustice fires up the wrath of God on my behalf is… is… I have no words to describe of how that felt. He knew exactly what I was going through. This was His love song to me in my distress…
He sent from on high, He took me; He drew me out of many waters.
He delivered me from my strong enemy,
And from those who hated me, for they were too mighty for me.
They confronted me in the day of my calamity,
But the Lord was my stay.
He brought me forth also into a broad place;
He rescued me, because He delighted in me.
His rescue of me was precise and swift! That broad place was beautiful! The battle was over! I was in a better place than victory! My heart, my mind, my soul – had beautiful sweet peace!
With a smile I returned to my task. That abominable document suddenly lost it’s fearful edge. With each reading, more lies came out from hiding. I didn’t see them as vicious words of coworkers, but instead from the evil spirits that composed them. I knew my battle wasn’t with flesh and blood – and now I knew that it wasn’t even my battle. God had taken over. In sweet peace I was able to compose a reply of kindness explaining my side of the story.
At last I was face to face with my boss. Hearing his unexpected first words of affirmation nearly made me giddy with knowing what happened spiritually. God was showing me how easy it was to take the battle to Him instead of fight it myself. That broad place was so beautiful! It was over and done… or so I thought.
A light ray of understanding struck me. Behind the confusing words of condemnation in that email, I sensed the true intent of the hearts involved. It came to mind that they were simply wanting more of me, more of my attention. I thought, “How can that be bad? That’s good!” I shook my head at how the devil twisted the truth.
The following morning an opportunity arose and God gave me a plan that made me a bit nervous. I easily maneuvered the head complainer into a place where we could talk alone. I told him he was right about the distance I put between us and apologized. Then more apologies came tumbling out that were deeply needed. He responded in kind and even said, “I know the work that you do is extremely hard.” Wow!
Psalm 18 finishes my thoughts…
The Lord has rewarded me according to my righteousness;
According to the cleanness of my hands He has recompensed me.
For I have kept the ways of the Lord,
And have not wickedly departed from my God.
For all His ordinances were before me,
And I did not put away His statutes from me.
I was also blameless with Him,
And I kept myself from my iniquity.
Therefore the Lord has recompensed me according to my righteousness,
According to the cleanness of my hands in His eyes.
